Volcano High

I went into this film super-stoked. Perhaps it would be a feature length version of one of my favorite shows of all time Kung Faux. As the movie began I retained some of these hopes. Here is a Korean movie, rich in fashion (just look at the hairdoos below) and fun. Plus they are sponsered/bought by MTV who then casts Method Man, Snoop Doggy, Outkast, Kelis and Mya to do the dubbing. I couldn't have casted it better (well actually...).

The point is, this piece of shit had a great deal of potential. HOWEVER, through my through analysis of the special features, behind the scenes look at the making of the movie---or the making of the dubbing as it in fact is---I have determined that NO ONE at MTV gave a flying anything about the outcome of the picture.

Outkast, Meth all allude to the lack of prepping or even the failure to see the film before they were asked to do the dubbing. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they did the dubbing all in one day! The product of this failure to post-produce is a somewhat fun Korean high-school movie, with horrible fight scenes, CGI and wire work and uninspired deadpan dubbing by some of the funniest hip hop icons of today.

Let's look at some of the characters:

Andre 3000 plays the main character, Kim. Andre is hilarious on his album. The guy is full of life and personality. In this movie the director must have said, "OK Andre, we're going to need you to act like you are dead. Try to be monotone and boring throughout the entirety of the filming. We want this to SUCK." I think it went something like that; his presence was not felt.

MethodMan plays Mr. Ma, which is good since he didn't need to change his monogramed hankys. Actually, Meth is the one bright spot of the film. He doesn't just act like a Korean version of himself. Instead, Tical digs deep into his acting repetoire to produce a cruel and subdued (surprise) substitute teacher bent on the destruction of all co-eds. Big ups to Mef.

And, although I almost forgot, Tracy Morgan, one of the funniest guys in the world, Shows up in the movie as somebody who doesn't tell any jokes. Basically, this was a total waste of Trace[y]. Why Tracy, whyyyyyyyyy????

This movie is total crap, and if Method Man wasn't in it, it would get a big ol' Robert Parish (that's a 00). Rating: 13/1,000,000.

BARF!