Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Runaway

This Michael Chriton classic takes place in the future of 1984. Robots have replaced humans in performing many common tasks. Unfortunately, no robots have yet been able to tame Magnum's chest hair (or mustache).
As many have said before me, this movie was the shiznit back in '84. Today, it still is. Let's just say an all-star cast and top shelf special effects never hurt a movie's awesomeness quotient.
The cast is excellent. There is Selleck of course. Gene Simmons (of KISS tongue fame) plays the heavy. Lets just get this over with here. He is a fantastically bad actor. He plays Dr. Luther in this puppy, a supposed super-genius/sociopath. He doesn't have many lines but he does have that psycho stare move down pat (as seen here pictured with my super-crush Cynthia Rhodes).
The parentheses lead me into the next treat of Runaway, Cynthia Rhodes. If you can see past the poodle hair this lady is super smokin'. I don't really remember if back in '84, being 7 years old, I was all caught up, but man that girl worked it fo'real.
The other treat was seeing Kirstie Alley back when she was considered the shiz. Baby's hair was crazy. This is the role that must have set her up for the subsequent parts in Cheers and Star Trek.

The movie itself can not really be described in human language. There simply aren't enough ways to say "templates". Gene Simmons is desperate to find the templates to these killer robot mod chips (not dissimilar to the mod chip in your region free PS2, so you can see what Simmons wanted them so bad). That is what it was all about back then, and it remains as such to this day.
There's a ton of other wild future stuff. One of the hottest things is Simmons' gun. It looks a bit like the Robocop gun, but with less detail.... I mean more sleek. Now it wasn't the look that distinguished this weapon as one of the most lame in history, it was its ammunition. The bullets for the gun are so futuristic they are mini personalized heat seeking rockets that can search out and destroy individuals based on their havmathabash....
The science is a little fuzzy on the gun, but hopefully you get the point.
If you're feeling like seeing some dope hair doos and Gene Simmons acting like the crazy bastard that he is, this is your next rental (only available in VHS); 421,098/1,000,000

NOT Magnum P.I.

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