Closer

Closer, the review.
The longer I watched, the farther I wanted to be from the screen.
2/1,000,000

It would have gotten a 0/1,000,000 had Portman not worn the thong.

But redemption is here in the form of Conan interviewing Bush and Shwartzanegga (sic). Conan is mad funny. Jude Law, Portman, Roberts and the other one are all not funny. Well, NPs acting in Star Wars is, but not here.

Check this sweet art that I have abducted from its web home. Girl is mad serious. The one on the left says to me "don't look at my nipples."

Conan is sponsered by Vagasil(c).

So to sum up:
Closer ==> sizucked
Conan ==> dizope
Portman ==> thongolicious

.M